You’re Not Listening, by Kate Murphy

When is the last time you felt like someone truly listened to everything you said? How do feel when you leave a conversation feeling like the person really absorbed what you shared with them? How do you feel when you leave a conversation feeling like the person wasn’t paying attention or didn’t care what you were saying to them?

This is one of the most impactful books I have read all year. The message of true listening in You’re Not Listening serves to emphatically renovate the way we interact with each other. Kate Murphy’s words can revolutionize your conversations and relationships in a meaningful and powerful way. But, only if you listen.

There was so much that resonated with me, and I highlighted quite a lot. My favorite chapters were “Addicted to Distractions” about the endless distractions that interfere with meaningful social interactions, “Supporting, Not Shifting the Conversation” about how we often direct the attention away from the person talking and direct it towards ourselves, and “Improvisational Listening” about collaborating with others.

Look at all the tabs I had to make for this book so I wouldn’t forget certain quotes! There was so much highlighting going on!

Does it teach you how to listen? Sometimes pointers, tips, and guidance is mixed in. The purpose of the book though is to highlight the importance and value of listening. So, it teaches you the significance of listening rather than how to listen. But along the way you pick up tips about how to listen.

I highly recommend this book, and I think this is a must read for anyone in a leadership position. The book is extremely well researched but a very accessible read. It is comprehensible to the average reader and explains chapters in an approachable way.

Kate Murphy, author

Half of surveyed Americans do not have meaningful social interactions on a daily basis.” *Read more

Read more about the importance of listening The Magic Relationship Ratio According to Science

What about listening to yourself? Read a bit about that here.

This was a group read with the Travelling Sisters. We had an amazing group discussion while reading. While discussing the book, group member Marilyn said, “This book is in my head all the time now, just feels like a part of me…” and I couldn’t agree with her more.

Thank you to Celadon Books for an advance copy! It was a pleasure and I loved it!

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