Tag Archives: Grief and Loss

Apeirogon, by Colum McCann

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“They seemed the most unlikely of friends, even beyond the obvious, one being Israeli, the other Palestinian.”

Rami and Bassam’s story is humbling. Centered around the Israeli-Palestine conflict, Rami and Bassam relive the day that each of their daughters died at the hands of a oppressive barrier that has effected more than just a perimeter. After each lose a daughter to violence, they learn to find solace in their grief and overcome the boundaries defined by their government.

“…everyone knew at least one child who was killed, and most of us knew several. You get used to it, sometimes you think it’s normal.”

It is a somber read with graphic gory scenes from beginning to end. Rami and Bassam’s recollections and revelations were heartbreaking. Just when I thought my heart couldn’t break anymore, it did. But the power and value behind the words is undeniable.
(The speeches they gave on pages 217-240 were unequivocal and would provide great dialogue for panel discussions and Socratic Seminars.)

There are only sections; most sections are about a paragraph in length, some sections are one sentence, some might be a small photo, though other sections are the length of a regular chapter. With a total of 1,001 sections, there are no chapters or parts.

It is a blend of fiction and nonfiction. For example: the story will be describing the anniversary of the time of deaths for the girls, so the very next section then discusses how the Greeks measured time in antiquity. Or, another example: there is a flashback when Salwa and her daughter are watching Arabian horses, so the next section goes into facts about Arabian horses. The fiction and nonfiction weave back and forth relying on each other. It jigsaws, using the previous section to build on the next section. The sequence is ornamental but blends cohesively.

I loved the book. It changed the way I think. When I wasn’t reading it, I was thinking about it. It had a profound impact on me.

“Truth is, you can’t have a humane occupation. It just doesn’t exist. It can’t. It’s about control.”

Visit Colum McCan’s website.

The Hollywood Reporter describes Colum McCan’s novel, Apeirogon.

Read The Guardian’s review of Apeirogon.

Colum McCan won the National Book Award for his 2009 novel, Let The Great World Spin.

Follow Colum McCann on Facebook.

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The Light After the War, by Anita Abriel

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The above synopsis is provided by the publisher, and can be found here.

Overall, the synopsis is misleading. I did expect a romance based on it’s description, but I also expected other elements too due to the narrative about the two main characters, Vera and Edith, fleeing Budapest during WW2. (Really Vera is the main character and Edith is her best friend that supports her throughout the story…but in some chapters, Edith is barely seen.)
Vera’s time during the war is expressed in flashbacks, and is limited throughout the novel. They are very short flashbacks. Most of the story revolves around Vera and Edith’s hunt to find love and make a home.
In the second half, I started counting Vera’s flashbacks; she has three flashbacks after 50% of the novel. And these flashbacks sometimes have little significance; for example one is her shortly recounting the time she saw a ballet.

I am not sure what exactly the plot was supposed to be, but the story is set during 1946-1950 and centers around Vera who is a 19 year-old that has escaped Nazi-Germany with her friend Edith. It bounced around starting with one path but then would abandon the path it was on and begin another: from romance to grieving back to romance to culture/society back to romance to family back to romance, so the direction and where it was headed was obscure for me.
I kept reading hoping the story would evolve, but there were no huge climatic plot elements. The characters were underdeveloped with little to no penetrating depth in the dialogue, and much of what happens to the girls is filled with happy coincidences.

If you like light romances set during WW2 with romanticized dialogue then you will enjoy this novel very much. The romance is very much stylized like an old fashioned cookie-cutter romance.

The other cover for the book that you might see depending on the region you live in.
Author, Anita Abriel. Visit her book’s page on Simon and Schuster.

Visit Anita Abriel’s website or follow her on Goodreads.

More about this:
There is a rich history for Budapest, especially during and after WW2. (Though it wasn’t strongly presented in this novel.)
Below is a picture of “Shoes on the Danube”, a memorial to the Holocaust victims who were brought to the edge of the Danube river, told to remove their shoes, and then shot.

Read about Holocaust victims murdered at the Danube.

Read about the Death March from Budapest and the Budapest Ghetto.

I received an advance copy of The Light After the War from the publisher through Edelweiss. Opinions are my own.

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The Other People, by C.J. Tudor

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“Other people, she thought. They were everywhere. And you never knew which ones where dangerous.” -C.J. Tudor, The Other People

In 2016, Gabe is driving home when he sees the face of his daughter from the back window of an unknown car in front of him. Thinking he must be mistaken, he pulls over to phone home. Answering his phone call though is not his wife nor his daughter, but the police who tell him it’s about his wife and daughter who are missing. After this first introduction chapter, the novel then fast forwards to 2019 where Gabe is still searching for his daughter who he believes to still be alive, though the police have dismissed his statement of seeing his daughter in the car in front of him. Gabe relentlessly pursues and uncovers piecing to his daughters mystery that were left untold. But, it seems even those closest with him have not been honest. Who can Gabe trust? And, what is Gabe hiding about his own past?

The chapters are short and writing style is absorbing. It’s a quick and easy read (under 300 pages). The chapters alternate between 3 characters, and are woven together towards the end as the mystery unravels.

I found myself suspending belief shortly into the story. But towards the middle and afterwards, I found so much unrealistic. I don’t mind suspending belief to help carry a story here or there, but the main story itself seemed too over the top. The reality was not there.
There is a small paranormal aspect that did not fit in well with the rest, and I did not understand what it had to do with the movement of the story or the finality of the plot.

Overall thoughts: I liked it okay. It was a good-ish read. It’s nothing that had me thinking long about it after I was done, no big jaw-dropping moments, and probably nothing I will recommend as an omg you will not believe this thriller. It was fast paced, but not thrilling for me. It’s a good read for vacation or by the pool.

Thank you to Random House-Ballantine and NetGalley for an advanced copy. Opinions are my own.

Read Bustle’s article about The Other People.

C.J. Tudor is the author of The Chalk Man which won the International Thrillers Award for Best Debut Novel.

Follow C.J. Tudor on Twitter.

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The Beekeeper of Aleppo, by Christy Lefteri

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What does it mean if we no longer grieve for what we lost? Do we legitimize the things we have lost or broken by holding on to our grief? What does it mean to carry memories?

The story begins with Nuri, the husband and main character who narrates the story, engulfed in the dark grey abyss of his wife’s blind eyes. His wife, Afra, was left blinded by the war and is left with only her own recollection. But, what does it mean to see? What does it mean to love? Revolutionized by the Syrian Civil War, a war that was not their decision to be involved in or part of, Nuri leaves his apiaries in Aleppo behind and journeys with Afra from Syria to the UK in hopes of obtaining asylum to create a safe and improved future. Their immigration tale tornadoes a state of mental trauma and emotional hardships that endure homelessness while surviving murderers, starvation, and ethical barriers.

Nuri and Afra’s journey from Syria to their ultimate destination is told through Nuri’s flashbacks in bits and pieces. The bees that Nuri often recounts from his life in Aleppo represent the deep metaphorical allegories for their lives, their immigration experience, and the state of Syria.

This story is not about war, but rather the strenuous effects of war on the mind and body. It contains disturbing content, and I would recommend reading this while in a good state of mind. I would consider this a good novel for this interested in the constructs of culture and the influence of sociology. Many thanks to Netgalley and Random House Ballantine for this copy. Opinions are my own.

For more on this topic:
Syrian Refugee Crisis
Fast Facts of Syrian Civil War

Nonfiction books that I recommend on this topic:
Shatter the Nations: ISIS and the War for the Caliphate by Mike Giglio
Guest House for Young Widows: Among the Women of Isis by Azadeh Moaveni

In the novel, Nuri and Afra stay at Pedion tou Areos with other refugees. Picture of a migrant camp set up at Pedion tou Areos park in Athens:

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The Weight of Heaven, by Thrity Umrigar

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A young American Michigan couple, Frank and Ellie, grieve the loss of their 7 year old child, Benny. The story focuses on the grieving process individually for Frank and Ellie when losing a child. After Benny dies, the couple then moves to India when Frank accepts a position there. They see it as a form of escape. Frank quickly attaches himself to Ramesh, the 9 year old child of the poor Prakash and Edna who are locals of India. Once Frank begins to overstep his boundaries as friend to father, the thriller begins. Prakash, the father of Ramesh, does not agree with the relationship Frank is developing with his son and feels like he is trying to replace him as a father. Meanwhile, Ellie feels Frank is replacing their passed son Benny but just wants Frank to be happy again. However, there is a BIG plot twist in the end of this novel in regards to the decisions Frank makes- How far will he go?

The reader sees the reactions, thoughts, and struggles through the eyes of the parents who have lost a child. I took a star off because of all the bickering and arguing between Frank and Ellie. The arguing and fighting was heavy and dating. I felt like the story could have endured without each and every single argument. To be frank, it got old and draining.

The story is not just about the grieving process, but also the moral dilemma of globalization through Frank’s job. His company has caused much pain in the local village. At times, the locals riot and push for him and the company to leave India. The reader also experiences a small taste of the caste system in India.

This book is not for young readers or for the faint of heart. I say, though respectfully, that you must be in a strong place mentally to endure the entirety of this novel. It notably includes– Miscarriage, murder, abuse, suicide, alcoholism, globalization sex, religion, and of course death’s affect on those left behind.

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The Secrets Between Us, by Thrity Umrigar

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How does Bhima’s past fit into her present? Are Bhima’s misfortunes her greatest treasures? Are the secrets we carry a unifying element in our relationships? Is holding onto grief the way we legitimize the things we have lost or broken?

Thrity Umrigar takes you back to India where the first book, The Spaces Between Us, left off. The Secrets Between Us allows you to peek into daily Indian life and culture through the eyes of two poor elderly females Bhima and Parvati.

Bhima is raising her granddaughter, Maya, after losing her own daughter to AIDS. Bhima struggles to put Maya through college and takes multiple jobs after being fired from the Dubash family. Bhima gets a small taste of independence, selling fruit in the marketplace and balancing housework for the rich while playing tug-of-war with the caste system in India. She watches Maya changing along with Mumbai but isn’t sure how she fits into this picture.

Parvati has nothing except a large mass growth to call her own. Her secrets lay deep within the darkness of her past where only she alone can find them. Her health and life depend on selling six old cauliflower at the fruit market until Bhima and her develop a business plan. Tougher than nails, Parvati relies on her past to gather strength and courage in her present. She challenges religion, the culture, and her newfound companion Bhima. The ending of this book was majestic and I was sad that it was over.

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